Women rights in Islam concerning marital relationships (Subjugation or Liberation) PART 2

Mohammed Sultan - محمد سلطان

Marriage in Islam is considered as the first source of amiability and mercy as God says in Surat Ar-Room:” And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect”. Not only that, the prophet (PBUH) discussed the importance of marriage as a way to the heavens, a way to please the creator. Anas bin Malik reported that the Prophet (PBUH) said that when a slave (means a slave of Allah) gets married, half of his religion is established ( Al-Bayhaqy). Also, the prophet stated that amusing the wife by compliments or praising is a way to please God. The Prophet (PBUH) stated that Allah is pleased when a man plays with his wife, for that God blesses them with lawful sustenance (Al-Ifsah Ibn Hajr Haithami). All the sayings of the Prophet or the verses of God are directly focusing on the value of women as partners, not in the marital desires, for the vast importance is about the comfort of the souls by respecting each other. Even that last words uttered by the Prophet before he dies were’’ be gentle with the Quareer”, the term “Quareer” is defined as the very thin glasses that are very fragile.  It means as if the Prophet metaphorically said that women are very fragile, so be gentle with them in order not to break them. Such merciful sayings and action paved the way, practically, for the women to be treated gently as princesses according to the divine rules and laws.

The first rule that is made to systemize the marriage is the age at which a woman can get married. Not similarly, the pagan Arabs, ancient cultures around the worlds were forcing the females to marry as if they were slaves. In general, it was a tradition for the young girls to get married in the past, but Islam regulates that process through the Islamic jurisprudence. Some scholars accepted such marriage when two conditions are done; Firstly, the woman has the right to be asked initially, for the marriage is not considered as legal without her consent. Secondly, if the young girl accepted the marriage she has the right to have not any sort of intercourses until she accepts that. On the contrary, the vast majority of the Muslim Scholar has been against the marriage of the young girls even if they have the right not to have any sexual intercourse.” The true consensus of the Islamic scholars is that the young girls should not get married before reaching the mentality by which she can rationalize the process of marriage by its advantages and disadvantages. And even if a young girl accepted to be married at a small age, her consent is disregarded because she cannot understand the burden of marriage, and her father has no right over her to get her married”. ( Ibn Othaimeen). Also, another great scholar as al Shafi’i said that no father has the right to force her daughter to get married with her permission, least she is not comfortable with the marriage, but afraid to say so. Moreover, the Prophet (PBUH) rejected the proposal of Omar and Abu-Bakr to Fatimah, the Prophet’s daughter, because she was young, and the Prophet replied as Muslim and Al-Nasaa’i reported:” she is a young girl yet”. Not that only, Ibn-Hazm the Andalusia scholar, who followed the school and understanding of the great scholar Malik bin Anas, talked about that issue in his book, Al-Muhalla, which Ibn-Shibrama said that marriage at a small age is prohibited. Even the majority of contemporary scholars are agreed upon the same opinion- that marrying a young girl is not legal- such as Al Qaradawy, Mohammad Nassir Al-Albany, and Al Obaikan.

Going back one step to the procedures of (Khitba) engagement, the entire process is meant to strengthen the bond between the potential spouse. Several meetings are held till the man and woman are comfortable to take a further step, marriage. The whole process does not grant the man any rights over the woman, for it is merely a promise that he will marry her after a while, and to declare that he has the will to marry her so nobody else is allowed to get engaged to her. The Prophet said,” no is allowed to have a Khitba over his brother’s Khitba” (Sahih Al-Bukhari). The CEDAW also emphasized on this right in the sixteenth article, parts A and B, that women have the right to enter into a marriage by their free and full consent. When a man finds the appropriate woman, the Islamic step that should be taken is to go and meet her father in order to declare his love in a lawful way, but - even this step - some scholars as Al-Tabari differed about because the Prophet proposed to Guwaireya Bint Al-Harith directly ( Al-Tabari). Also, the woman has the right to propose to the appropriate man as the story which was narrated by Sahl Bin Al-Sa’di that there was a woman who proposed to the Prophet but did not answer her and kept silent (that was the polite way to refuse it) (Muslim). After having several meetings and being comfortable with the fiancé and his mindset and his characteristics, the step of marriage becomes very near. During the time of engagement, the fiancé has no right to look at her body except his face and palms, and that is the opinion of Imam Malik (Ibn-Rushd). Other scholars as the followers of Ahmad Bin Hanbal said that it is preferable to look at her- in general- to find anything that may get you closer to her in terms of love and mercy (Mwahib Al Galeel). But the follower of Al Alshafia’i and Abu Hanifa agreed about the opinion of Malik (Ibn A’abdeen and the exegesis of Saheeh Muslim). The great scholar Malik commented about the process of looking at the fiancée that the man has to seek her permission at first, for the general safety that if anyone is allowed to look without the permission, so dozens will look at her just for no purpose, and when they are asked, they will replay- deceptively- we were about to propose to her. Saving the reputation of the woman was the top priority of Imam Malik and that denotes to how honored the woman is in Islam (Mwahib Al-Galeel).

The high status of woman in Islam is asserted in many places as mentioned before, and all the unjust practices against her are just cultivated by the traditions and customs, not by the religion. Essentially, any woman is not forced to perform the house chore because the most honored man- the prophet- was helping his wives in the household (AL-Bukhari). Actually, the CEDAW also declared the same right for women- in the sixteenth article, part D- that both genders are equal in the light of responsibilities and duties concerning and during the marriage. However, I cannot wholeheartedly agree about that article because it legalizes some actions which considered as unacceptable from an Islam perspective. If the woman has to bear equal responsibility, that means she has to help in paying the bills and being a breadwinner for the family, whereas the husband is the only one responsible for such duties. Beating the woman is an unacceptable act because the prophet when he had some problems with his wives, he left them for a while and did not harm them whatsoever. Even the woman is not allowed to fulfill her husband’s will if it is about an unlawful thing or if it is unpleasant to God as the Prophet said” there is no obedience for a creature if it (the obedience) leads to the disobedience of the Creator) ( Al-Bukhari). Women in general are deemed as an honored way for the heavens as the prophet said” the heavens are under the mothers’ feet”, “whoever has three daughters or more and looked after them, will be in the heavens”, “the best of you is the best to his wife, and I am the best to my wife”.  

References

-Qura’an

-Fatawa Ibn Othimeen, Al-sharh Al-Momti’

-Al-Ifsah, Ibn Hajr Haithami

-Sahih Al-Bukhari

-Sahih Muslim

-Al-Bayhaqi

-Al-Tabari, AL –Samt AL-Thameen.

-Ibn-Rushd, Bidayat AL-Mujtahid, P3.

-Mwahib AL-Galeel, Part3, P404.

-Sharh Sahih Muslim, part 9, p 210.

-Mohamed, E. (2008, December 28). UAE,Heritage and Culture..GulfNews. Retrieved , from http://gulfnews.com/news/gulf/uae/heritage-culture/camel-auction-charms-tourists-1.21814

-R.A, Nicholson. (1966). A Literary History of The Arabs.cambridge: Cambridge University Press.

-Ahmed, L. (0). Women and Gender in Islam. New Haven:Yale University Press.

-Qur'an, translation by Muhammad Asad, Dar Al-Andalus, 1980 -Smith, W. R. (1903). Kinship & Marriage in Early Arabia. London: Adam and Charles Black. -Hitti, P. (1961). History of the Arab. London: McMillan and Co.